Wedding Strays

I know I’ve been away for AAAGES… I don’t even want to talk about it. I’ve lost my laptop cable and I find it deeply upsetting to talk about.

On a lighter note; I recently found this blog called welovepictures and have not been able to stop myself from logging on every time they tweet about a new blogpost.

For the first few days, I kept it as my little secret cause I din’t want people to think that I have decided that 22 is an appropriate age to become wed and now I’m looking for a photographer etc etc… BUT after a few days I couldn’t keep it a secret any longer! It’s too beautiful.

Whether you are a man, woman or child…married already (to a man, woman or child), single (because of a man, woman or child), or never to be married (because you can’t bear the thought of forever being with a man, woman or child)… you can’t deny that these images are incredibly beautiful to look at.

Some of them are so lovely that I want to print them out and hang them on my wall. But then I remember that that would be bloody bizarre and I go back to just admiring them digitally.

However, as much as I’ve tried and tried to not be…I am a girl, and looking at all these bautiful wedding pictures has got me thinking about what I, myself may one day want for my own personal wedding AND, what I most definitely will not want soiling my most special of special days.

Things Natalie Does Not Want At Her Most Special Of Specials:

1. The Show-Minister

You know the type. The minister that power-walks up and down the isle furiously, preaching about life and death and the apocolyps. Spitting ferociously and waving his Bible in the air. Look buddy, this day is not about saving my friends and families souls. Its about me and my dude pledging our eternal love. Now kill the spotlight.

2.  The Buffet Dinner

There is nothing I want less than having my poor guests stand in line for a plate of 3 meats, 3 veg and 2 starch. It is incredibly uncomfortable, and even though I was only in boarding school for 3 months, it brings back the most horrific memories. Not to mention the fact that by the time table one is rolling around the floor, gently cradling their food-babies, table 13 is wrestling the kids table for their niknaks.

3. The Mobile Disco

Any song that is at that time on radio rotation will be banned. In fact, any song to have ever been on radio rotation will be banned. I don’t want Lady Gaga papapapoking her face all over me and my white dress. I’d much prefer Balkan Beat Box playing their crazy circus tunes and transporting my mind to a place where I can dance freely, with recless abandon and complete disregard for recognised dance moves.

4. Organza. Of any sort.

The vomit of material. It is made from recycled wedding dresses and old lady curtains. And it eats your possesion. You put your cellphone down on the hideous mound in the middle of the table for just a few seconds, and when you turn around…BOOM! It’s gone!

The one thing I will have, however, is a team called welovepictures snapping away.

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2 responses to “Wedding Strays

  1. welovethem.
    weloveyouformakinguslaughafter4pm.

  2. this is awesome. no organza. puke. agreed.

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