Let’s. Get. Sexy.

Summer is just minutes away… And I am experiencing mild to extreme panic attacks regarding my Bikini Body. My body has been telling my brain: I’m not ready.Eeeeek!

This could be due to the fact that I’ve sworn off any and all forms of excercise. And instead, taken up drinking copious amounts of tequila as my prefered method of torturing my body.

But, I have to admit, 22 is not 18. And where I used to be able to just eliminate bread from my diet for 24 hours and drop 3kg’s…my body is trying to tell me that those days are over. I may actually have to get my heart rate up, and my body a little sweaty some time soon. Euw.

It’s not that I don’t like getting physical… I just can’t stomach driving 20 minutes to a gym that charges me R 400 a month to ride a bicycle that’s not even going anywhere!

Of course there are also 342 steroid-jocks roaming around reeking of testosterone and constantly checking themselves out in the mirrors that are everywhere! Is it really necessary to be able to view all 360 degrees of yourself while you flex? I know I prefer to actually not see any part of myself in the state I’m in when I’m in the gym.

In Joburg, I couldn’t exactly go running around the streets of North Riding now, could I? Death Becomes Her is not the title I’m keen on for my life story.

Friends have been trying to be helpful, and have been throwing around gym alternatives like knives in a flipping circus! I have shooting them down in the same fashion.

“Why don’t you jog on the beach?” (Weak ankles and asthma. Also, refuse to wear running shoes. Way too hideous.) “You could swim?” (My shoulders are pretty sizeable as it is. Also, cannot bear the thought of washing my hair every day.) “How about Yoga?” (That’s even more expensive than gym?!)

Sleepless night and visions of my December being spent indoors wrapped in head-to-toe clothing were haunting me…

Then, along came BEN Bikes… BEN Bikes and a Johnny Loco.


Cue Angels singing in the background...


Have you ever seen a more beautiful bicycle? No. You have not.

BEN Bikes hooked me up with that bad cat, now named Lady Marmaduke King George and since I got her we’ve been bonding non-stop.


That's us on an afternoon ride

Lady Marmaduke taking a breather to appreciate the Sunset

Even Nash has been having a good time with Lady Marmaduke


Now that I’m in Cape Town, an active lifestyle is so much easier to execute! I can ride everywhere now! Just a casual ride around Muizenberg or a little adventure to Kalk Bay. To be honest, my bum has been looking a bit sexier already.

This is where we’ve been riding around so far:


BOOM! In your face Virgin Active!!

Take that Planet Fitness!!

You know what we should do?! We should totally start a Bike Gang!


We can even get matching Bike Gang tattoos from Keep It Real! Ok, so they are in Joburg…but so was I, and yet here I am, living in Cape Town!

Ok, so you need to get your own Johnny Loco! But you have to hurry cause there are only 29 left in the country!

And even better, is that they usually sell for between R 5000 – R 8000 but BEN Bikes wants us all to have sexy bums for summer and save the environment… so they are practically giving them away for just R2 500 !! I know right??

I’ll be riding around the streets of Cape Town all summer long. You may recognise me by my sexy, tight buns.

Get your bike from Andrew at BEN Bikes and Let’s. Get. Sexy!


4 responses to “Let’s. Get. Sexy.

  1. ok – i would need to do the whole cape town at least 10 times to get anywhere near what your rear looks like and thats if I dont die in the first 5 minutes! Enjoy the view – it looks stunning!


  2. Babe …. Prepared do do anything but it will take a lot more than cycling to fix this 43 year old bum! You keep it up for us older, more mature girls ….

  3. Pingback: Car Free Day in Cape Town: TOMORROW | tailsofamermaid…

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